No peace of mind . . .

I brought the girls swimming this morning and everything was fine, they enjoyed it, Rhea went out for a rest a couple of times, as we always let her decide if she is tired or not. When the girls exited the pool to go the garden, Rhea's right back leg gave way twice and I thought she was going to dislocate her hip again, but then her left one gave way too a couple of times. I put them in the car and Rhea couldn't go in by herself.

Once home Dennis also noticed she was walking very badly so I called the Vet surgery. They didn't have any appointment left for this morning but they told me to come anyway and our Vet would see us. I wanted to come this morning because Rhea didn't have food yet, what means they could do anesthetics on her if needed.

He checked her out completely and as soon as he pulled her lip up, I thought "oh my God" as it was very pale. He also found her heart bits too quick, even if she wasn't happy to be here. He said her paws are weak, but he doesn't seem to think the problem came from there. He thinks she might have anemia, what wouldn't be too bad as it would explain the pale color of the gums or she has enough red blood cells but her heart doesn't pump blood well enough to all her body parts, what wouldn't be nice. I had to leave her there for a full blood test and depending on what they find, an EEG.

She was crying when I left, she never does that. No need to say I wasn't happy . . .  I need to call at 3pm to see what's going on and when I can take her back home.

It's a beautiful day but cold as the car was full of frost.

Yesterday I directed you to Michelle's blog for her entry on Impossible. I have thought about it a lot, including the "letter" she put a photo of. This trip to Holland instead of Italy story really got me, because it's explained so delicately and beautifully and I really didn't know whether to smile or to cry. I have had it in mind since I read it and I even told the content to Dennis who also thought it's an incredible text.

Stories like Michelle's live their mark on me. I told you since the fall my emotions have increased, that's what I meant with half a blessing and half a curse. I think this text should be shown to all mothers having a baby as it might put their thoughts about other children in perspective.

I must have been Robin Hood in a previous life. I always want to defend the fragile.



Lucky Snapping Nostalgia - February : Affairs of the heart

After a short return to France in 1992, I moved back to Germany in 1993. I worked for a very bad guy ( time told ) and it will be a good story for another day, let's say for now that in 1996, I replaced him as boss of the European Office for a Hardware Taiwanese Company. We needed a new distribution partner in England and I was looking around. One day I got a call from a guy saying they would be interested to distribute our products and we had a long chat, both answering all the questions we had for each other. After that, that guy seemed happy and told me he would talk to his boss who would call me.

A week later, a certain Dennis from Southampton was on the phone. He was a very pleasant guy and we chatted for quite a while. They seem to be like a good company for our products. The next step was to meet the team so I took a flight to Southampton. Dennis had said he would pick me up.
When I arrived, there was this Chinese guy who came towards me and said " Hi, I am Dennis". I was completely stunned because I didn't expect a Chinese guy. His English was perfect, British and his last name was British too. Obviously I had nothing against Chinese people, but I was a surprise.

The meeting went really well, his team was great so we started working together. In the next years, we met quite a lot, me visiting them and their customers, him visiting my company, visiting the fair we were taking part to in Hanover each year,  or coming for European Commission meetings in Munich and contacting me so we could have a coffee together.

It so happened that we became very good friends. He was in a terrible marriage, I was in a " going nowhere" relationship, we knew all about each other's life in detail and it was very comfortable that way.

Then came the day I went out of my relationship, then came the day he moved out of the family home, then came the day we happened to be both single and in the same place at the same time during a fair and so came the first " surprise for both " kiss before he took his plane back to England a couple of hours later.

Ouch . . .

It's funny how a simple kiss can start making things SO complicated. Dating over the Channel wasn't especially what I wanted. I even had swore myself I never ever enter again into a relationship with a man having kids. WAY too complicated.

We met often (well every 3-4 weeks)  through work, just as good friends having only shared a kiss, not easy at all. I had the impression he didn't know what he wanted. I was also in the process of moving the company to Zurich in Switzerland, because I really wanted to go there and I wasn't ready to cancel that for somebody who didn't know what he wanted .

I had given him as a joke, a couple of documents that I had turned into a " Request for a private visit to Munich ". It was asking for the dates and the time and what he would like to do if his request was accepted . . .  and he was supposed to fax it to me when he would be ready, but I never got it back.

In May I flew to England to be with him on his birthday and it wasn't very good. He was missing his kids who were very small at the time. I flew back to Germany after telling him that he needed to make up his mind, either way was fine with me and I was going to do the same on my side. I certainly didn't want to put pressure on him. If you put pressure on people, you might get what you want, but you can be sure it only will be temporary.

I heard very seldom from him within a month ( excepted work wise ). It was coming up to my birthday beginning of June and I wanted to move to Zurich during the summer months. I had started working most of my time from home, only popping occasionally into the office, as having a telephone, a computer, a printer and a fax ( at the time ) was really all I needed.

A couple of days before my birthday, a fax arrived. I could see it only upside down but I immediately knew what it was : Dennis was faxing his request to come and visit me. I faxed it back with the words ' Approved " and picked him up at the airport a couple of days later. He had a small bag and a massive box with him.

He had asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I had said something soft and cuddly I can keep.

Then came the moment when he told me to open my present. The outside was the cardboard box he had traveled with. When I opened it, there was inside another big cardboard, kind of heavy.
When I pulled it out, it was a food steamer. My heart absolutely sank and I was thinking " why do men ask questions if it is to do something else ?"

Anyway, I decided to open the thing, what else could I do and as soon as I started opening the second box, I could see this  :

I must say I jumped on my feet because it was love at first sight.

We had a great week-end and Dennis said he had decided. Because of my realistic
( doubtful ? ) character, I named the dog : 50/50 because I still wasn't sure if Dennis exactly knew so that was the percentage of chances I was seeing for us.

The rest of the story you basically know, I moved to England end of 2000 and we got married end of 2001.

If you remember during 365+1, you met 30/30 with his mum :

30/30 was also offered by Dennis, probably a couple of years after we were married, so I thought the chances were much more in our favor, hence the 30 % failure risk.

I also have a 10/10 on my fridge that I got a couple of years ago. I never wanted to go below 10, may be superstition, LOL.

This is my affairs of the heart: How Dennis and I met and how we ended up married.

Take care everybody, xxx