A quiet day

Today's weather is a very different story, cold and humid.

Dennis came along for both girls walks to their biggest joy. When the boss is with us, it's very special to them.

I don't know if it's my imagination but I have this impression that my parents who were already close, are now even closer to me since our visit. May be it's because they realized the flying down was expensive and complicated to organize but we did it anyway for them ?

Nothing much planned today, I need to replace the zip of a trouser ( really dislike that as it always goes wrong ), give a brush and trim to the girls, then I would like to manage getting some " me " time to just relax a bit.



Project 365+1 - Day 274 : Reflection

That's the part of river that's most obvious regarding the oil contamination. That's the part everybody avoids because it's visible, but they all allow their dogs in the water 20 meters right of this because the current picks up a bit and then can't see the dirt. I feel so sorry for the doggies . . .

LSNED 2012 : Catch-up of the century.

Looking at my daily pages, it's hard to believe LSNED is a crafting class as there is less and less crafting in my pages, but as I said before, as long as it works for me . . .


Day 19 : Making a change

Day 20 : My signature

Day 21 : When things are just not going to plan

Day 22 : New Skill saturday

Day 23 : Risk taking

Day 24 : Something I shouldn't forgetI had a bit of a hard time with my mum's attitude during our visit but it's good to remind myself often that people are who they are and I have to take them that way.

Day 25 : Something I couldn't possibly forget
That's a memory I will cherish for the rest of  my life.

Day 26 : Crafting Play I was just unable to play along, too many things on my mind make it blank.

Day 27 : Looking forward to . . .

Day 28 : In my own world 
I believe in equality between humans and any other species ( excepted big nasty    spiders . . .  ). Dogs need food but also toys, nice little surprises, quality time as well as love and big cuddles as anybody else.

Take care everybody, xxx
  

Questions, questions

This morning I was thinking about the power of the human brain and how it helps us to cope with several stressing situations at the same time without completely collapsing. My impression is we have a system of "let go " embedded in our brain. We don't forget but we stop concentrating on something. If we refuse the let go process, then I guess it makes us either sick or close to lose our mind.

I suppose it's part of our survival instinct to have a way to cut off when we are close to collapsing. I was speaking with a good friend yesterday and telling her that when it becomes too much for me, there is a kind of short-circuit happening in me that stops everything. It forces me to sit and stop and not care for everything for a while. After that, I am much more able to rationalize things and look at them differently.

Of course all this is related to my Dad. He saw the cardiologist yesterday who said he was very pleased with him, no extra-systoles anymore, so he told him to go and have a normal life and if his heart bits were to go down too much then he would get a pacemaker. Of course he is old, of course there are risks of things going wrong, but that's part of life. Both Dad and Mum were happy with that and of course I was too.

He could have a fatal problem tomorrow morning or he could live for the next 10 years or more. So how do I deal with that ? Where is the right place to stay between being scared every second and believing in an immortality that doesn't exist? I don't have the answer of course, that's why I was thinking about this letting-go process this morning : Keeping in mind there is a problem but not letting it completely spoil every minute of my day.  It makes full sense to me but it's not because it's the right thing to do that it means it's easy to do it . . .

Let's go to the weather. Look at this :

and this ( notice Bubbles arriving full power from the left, lol ):

It is such a beautiful weather. We even had to remove our jumpers and walk in T-shirt as it was becoming too hot.

Both girls had a good walk, there was the usual saturday morning cross country race, but we managed to go around them.

It's the second night I go to bed very early. It's another thing that amazes me in the human body. As long as there is a problem, I will hold on and do what is needed, but when it finishes, it's like melting down and feeling so exhausted.



Project 365+1 - Day 273 : Stripes

I took 2 pictures for today's word. The 1st one is in the park, I thought the different trees were showing stripes of colors, a bit pushy . . .

 
As of the 2nd picture, Asda has come up with a lovely range of stationary with stripes and I treated myself to one a couple of weeks ago. That gives you an occasion to look at my messy desk and uncleaned mirrors . . .  I can't be everywhere, right ?

LSNED 2012 : Catch up planned during the week-end .


Take care everybody, xxx
  

To each his own .

Yesterday evening I phoned my parents at the usual time but nobody answered the phone, so I tried again 5 minutes then 10 minutes later but still nobody there. So I tried their cell phone a couple of times, but nobody was answering. So what was next ? Of course I panicked. I called the hospital directly but thanks God they said my Dad hadn't been admitted.

Then half an hour later, I got a call from my mum. Honestly this one made me laugh because she had the voice I must have had as a teenager when I was calling 2 hours late and I knew I would be in trouble. She said they had to go to a special pharmacy and they just had forgotten their cell phone, but they were both fine..
Sophie had just arrived from school with Dennis so she said a few words to my Dad, in French bless her, and he was very pleased. Today they go back to the hospital as out-patients as they have an appointment with the cardiologist who wanted to check on my Dad.

After the terrible Chernobyl accident, a massive radioactive cloud started moving west, involving many countries it crossed. I remember that in Germany a lot of farmers were ordered to throw away all their crops, just to be on the safe side. Then the cloud reached The Netherlands and Belgium and we were next, but in France, it was a completely different story. We were told that there was no need to panic as the cloud stopped at the French border.  It went around down to Italy and around up to UK but didn't touch us so our crops were absolutely safe. Obviously it was strongly advised not to buy anything from our neighbours because THAT wouldn't be safe . . .

Another of these amazingly crazy ideas crossed my path this morning when I was in the park with Bubbles. I saw a guy I 'd never seen before whose dog was having the bath of his life in the river. As I thought he might be new to the area I asked him if he knew there had been a serious oil spillage in the river and people were strongly advised not to let dogs or kids enter the river.
He had this amazing answer " Oh yes, I am aware of it, have you seen 10 meters above how bad it looks? Terribly dirty and unhealthy ! But here where my dog is, thanks God it's so clean. " . . .

The day started as very cloudy but brightened up and it is even warm.

I found some other beautiful foliage, looking so gorgeous in the sun

Project 365+1 - Day 272 : Bridge

This is one of the bridges we have in the park, we call it the Japanese bridge, due to its shape.

Take care everybody, xxx

 PS: Massive LSNED catch up should follow soon . . .
  

Trying to find my place

After driving back from the airport we dropped the suitcases home and went to get the girls. As usual they gave us a welcoming concert of singing-crying-vocalising. They were really pleased. I didn't have a second to miss them when we were away but when cuddling them I realized I did miss them so much. When we brought them back they rushed inside the house, into every single room. They reminded me when I was a kid and we were coming back home after a month of camping, I was also going in every room, so happy that my familiar surrounding hadn't changed.

I don't know if you ever crossed the International date line. It's an imaginary line in the middle of the Pacific Ocean going from the North to South Pole. Basically when you cross it left to right, you lose 24 hours and when you cross it right to left you add 24 hours. So for example when you fly from Taiwan to the States, you end up arriving before you left. It's funny both sides, but it's a bit disorienting.

For whatever reason, Dennis and I both had this impression of crossing the date line when we landed back home. We were tired, jetlagged and after a couple of hours, it was as if we had never been away to Marseille. Did we dream it? Probably just being tired, so we went to bed at 9pm. We slept well, although the silence woke us up several times. Sleeping in the middle of Marseille ( although my parents live in a quiet part ) is certainly an adventure. At 4am, when everybody sleeps, if the police needs to go somewhere, they will switch their sirens on. You understand why, you tell me. Funny thing of course it's a question of habit. When I was a kid, I didn't hear them and my parents certainly don't either, but in 3 nights, we didn't miss one, including horns from drunk people, the bin people passing by at 1 am. Anyway, being home was soooo quiet, it was almost disturbing. We had allowed the girls to stay with us, so they were happy.

We got up early today as we needed to jump into the UK routine and it was pretty tough to jump out from the Marseille one.

Dennis started to work and I went to the park with Rhea. She was eager to go and sniff HER park as the dog sitter brings them somewhere else.  Bubbles also had a good walk. The weather wasn't too bad, fresh but no rain today ( we got enough yesterday ! ).

The park certainly changed in these 4 days

and autumn is surely there

In fact if autumn didn't mean rain, it's a beautiful season

It didn't rain but it was obviously pretty wet.

My father in law sent me a text this morning when I was in the park. I thought I was OK but it completely destabilized me as I suddenly thought it was my mum calling me for my dad. I have been trying to be back to normal all morning, but not with complete success. It's true that in this situation and even after talking to the doctor, it's the Damocles sword above our head " When will it happen again next ? ". So it turns out I don't really want to talk today.  I do need a plan B to cope with all that. I am sure I will find one soon.


Project 365+1 - Day 271 : Haphazard

I had never heard this word before. I checked on Google and found : by chance, at random

This is a keyring someone offered me, that fits the word. Oh and if you win the £19 millions on saturday with these numbers, please remember where you got them from . . .

Take care everybody, xxx
  

Back Home

We had ordered a taxi for 8am so we still had time for a last breakfast and photo together.

The past few days have been roller-coaster type ( the past weeks I should say ), so I have kind of very mixed emotions and I need to sleep on them. I will tell everything tomorrow, promised.

The flight to UK was fine but we landed to this, as expected

although I must say it's much less cold than we anticipated. Well, I didn't say it was hot either, LOL !



Project 365+1 - Day 270 : Muted

That was again an easy one for me. As we landed in Gatwick, I switched my phone on to see today's word, but I muted it as I always do as I don't like getting texts or calls before exiting the plane and being in the airport.

I then just had to take a picture of the phone.

Take care everybody, xxx
  

Last day

Yesterday was really hot so as soon as it was a bit cooler, Dennis and decided to have a small walk . It turned into a big walk and we ended up climbing the hill to Notre Dame de la Garde.

The isles on the left are where I used to do scuba diving. On the right is a narrowest house of Marseille.

A cruise ship passing by the Pharo Palace, Notre Dame de la Garde and a general view of old Harbour of Marseille. We should have gone higher for a better photo but we needed to go back to prepare diner.

The view from the top of the hill is beautiful and it reminded me when I was a little girl and we sat on that hill every July 14th in the evening to watch our National Day fireworks.

We saw a nice cat ( don't tell the girls ).

I am a bit in two minds today. We are leaving tomorrow morning. On one side it was too short, on the other one, it is just right for everybody. My parents have their habits, the way they do things to the centimeter, not that they are not happy to have us, but I think it's time they go back to their routine. It would have been easier in the week-end house, but here the flat is small and we are all walking on each other.

Mum is also very protective of Dad, should I say way too much over extra protective, LOL, so he kind of can't get up from a chair without her following him everywhere. She does everything for him and they "gently fight" because he doesn't want to be treated as an invalid. I tried to explain to her that she doesn't need to stress that way as it stresses him to, but she of course doesn't agree and telling this to my mum stresses my Dad too as although he doesn't agree with what she does, he then becomes protective of her.
63 years of Marriage ! ! !

They are certainly not going to change at 88 and 89, that's why I believe it's the right time for us to go and let them settle down again. It was a good trip anyway and it was lovely to see Dad.




Project 365+1 - Day 269 : Vivid

This word is really working for me today. Being back in the city where I was born and lived for 22 years certainly brings a lot of vivid memories.

This morning I brough Dennis to a local market where I used to go with my parents when I was little. I have great memories of the vegetables stalls but the best were the fish stalls. The smell brought me back 50 years ago, just as it was yesterday

We just came back, soaked with sweat as it is unbereably hot. I know we shouldn't complain as tomorrow morning will be a bad shock at home.

The contact with the French people wasn't too bad, but additionally to all the small things that I don't like in them ( guess why I live abroad ! ), they do drive on the wrong side of the road, lol ! ! !

PS: Borqna, the 3 laptops don't belong to Dennis, he works for different companies and they all gave him a laptop for confidentialiy issues ! 

Take care everybody, xxx
  

We got him home !

Last night there was a very strong east wind ( the rain wind ) and when the wind blows in Marseille, boy can it blow ! We got up to very greys skies

but within an hour, the north wind started and cleared it all ( bringing a bag migraine, though ! ).



We made our way to the hospital as we were due to meet the cardiology doctor. This is the view from Dad's hospital room, from the 10th floor. On the top of the hill, you can see Marseille 's landmark: Notre Dame de La Garde.

A closer view here :

We did see the doctor and I could ask all the questions I wanted. Since my Dad seems to be tolerating the new meds very well, it was decided that he can go out this afternoon and should come back on Friday for a check up. The pacemaker will only be if these meds fail as there aren't any others that coudl help him.

You didn't have to tell him twice he could go out and he was all ready within minutes, waiting to go, bless him !

This is a very funny painted sculpture in front of the hospital entrance.

When we came back home, hubby was just showing off and maintained he had been working all day .Yeah, may be he did !

Well that's certainly good to have Dad home and now we can enjoy some time with him !



Project 365+1 - Day 268 : Favorite color

By fate, my mum put in our bedroom a cushion I offered her years ago, that is indeed my favorite color and by fate too, the bedroom wall paper is a kind of light orange color that is my 2nd favorite !

Take care everybody, xxx
  

Greetings from Marseille

I was used to get up at 3 am when Dennis travels, I wasn't used to then drive ( co-pilot drive ) one and a half hours to Gatwick and take a plane. Pretty much tiring, don't know how he does that so often !

We arrived in Marseille at sharp 9:25 ( Good point for British Airways . . . for once ! ) and made our way to the hospital. I had told my mum we were arriving but it had to be a surprise for my dad. Well it surely was, as we arrived there even before my mum. He was so pleased to see Dennis and I, kept on telling all the nurses who I was and that we were specially coming fom England. Really nice to see him happy !

We spent 4 hours with him and then made our way to the flat because we were zombies in need of food and a bit of rest.

I couldn't talk to the doctor yet as he only will pass by tomorrow morning, but the nurses explained a lot of things. My Dad has 2 problems : Bradycardia and ventricular extra systols. The new med he is on that he seems to be accepting very well is for the extra systols and since he takes that, he didn't have any BUT that med like any other he had so far is causing is bradycardia to be worse. So the pacemaker is not out of the picture at all and this should be discussed tomorrow morning.



Project 365+1 - Day 267 : On your desk

Well I had to cheat a bit on that one, obviously I don't have my desk with me, so I took a photo of Dennis who improvised a desk at my parents place.

As you can see, yes it is hot : 26 degrees and sunny too. Just had a look at the weather in Eastleigh : 10 degrees and buckets of rain. Poor girls !

Take care everybody, xxx

Flying to France

Dennis came back late last night. I was really tired but so glad to see him.

We now both got tickets for France, flying tomorrow. My Dad is still doing fine, I did't tell him yet we are coming as I don't know how to do it best.

I have thousands of things to do before leaving,  most time consuming being to prepare all what the girls need for the pet sitter " Food, meds, toys, towels ( I heard it's going to pour down), bed, doudous, so it will be a short post.

Yesterday there was a lot of noise outside my window and then I saw this little chap on the top of the conservatory.



Glad I had my new camera:

I had to take the photo through the curtains or he would have gone away but I like it a lot.

I went to the park with the girls this morning and I took a picture of each as I am going to miss them so much.

I don't know exactly when I will come back but I take my netbook with me so I will keep everybody updated.




Project 365+1 - Day 266 : A random item

100 days to go now.

It's not really a random item as I use it so often but here it is : The connection to my dad.

LSNED will have to wait a little bit longer.


Take care everybody, xxx

Nothing new yet

I think I have entered Zombie Land as this morning I forgot calling my Dad. It sounds completely mad, doesn't it ? I think it's because my routine was disturbed. Last night Dennis had a meeting 100 kms away from the office and then they took him for dinner. I told him I was going to bed, if he could please text when he would be back. When he texted past midnight, I was already asleep since 3 hours, I woke up but I didn't feel like chatting.

This morning I was tired and only got up at 8, so I was already 1 hour late and it was only at 9:30 I noticed I hadn't called my Dad. There is no specific time to call, but I normally does as soon as I get up.
Anyway, he was fine, alone in the room as his room mate had been discharged. He said thanks God for that because a lot of people visited him and were real chatterboxes. He had a good mood and is trying to patiently wait and see if the meds will help or not.

Mum told me that last night  when she was leaving the hospital she saw the cardiology professor my Dad visits once a year. Well he is the one who saw and stopped her, because she didn't recognize him ( she is a bit stressed too ). He said he heard my Dad was here and he would pass by to see him this morning. May be he will be the one to explain what's going on.

Dennis will be back late tonight, I hope he will be able to put some order in my thoughts.

Again thank you all for your kind comments. I didn't feel like commenting on your blogs but I read them and KathiJo, if Zac comes to Southampton, I hope you will visit him and pass by Eastleigh too. Lynne thanks for talking to your Friend tonight. Borqna and Rinda, I told my Dad he was sent loving thoughts from as far as Bulgaria and the States and he was very pleased !

You are all such dear Cyber Friends, each single one of you. I hope one day I can be as kind to you as you are to me.

It was cold in the park today and for the first time I had a jumper and a wind breaker.

Rhea made my day today. We have this precise routine of a small/middle round we do every morning and normally we always stick to that. This morning instead of taking the direction back home, she started sniffing in another direction and walked for another 5 minutes before turning again. It looks like she is doing really fine currently.

Bubbles was happy too, always on the look to make new friends to play with. I can't believe she will be 7 in a couple of weeks. She still behaves as a puppy.

The other day I thought I saw some passion fruit flowers at the bottom of the garden and I was really surprised because my plant had died long ago, so today I went to investigate. They are indeed passion fruit flowers, but they made their way from my neighbours garden.

Isn't it the most gorgeous flower ?

Project 365+1 - Day 265 : Fruit

What about a ready to be binned Apple?

LSNED : Still behind



Take care everybody, xxx

What an unnecessary mess . . .

Yesterday afternoon, my Mum called to say that my Dad's operation was confirmed for Thursday morning. It was 4pm, the plane was at 8:30pm, even if I could have got tickets, there was no way I could make it and I was pretty upset about it.

Additionally to the weather, another big thing I hate about England is the fact its' an island. No wonder Alcatraz was on an Island. Southampton Marseille is not really far away but to get out of here, you need either a plane, or a boat or a ticket to go into the tunnel. When I lived in Munich it was much farer away but within half an hour I was in my car and driving.

So yes I was very upset but when something is decided for you and there isn't the slightest thing you can do about it, there's no reason to stay upset for ever, so I just accepted ( but not necessarily calmed down ! ).

I talked to my dad last night and again early this morning and he was in good spirit. He said they got him all ready and he was waiting for them to come and get him. Mum's plan was to arrive at the hospital very early and wait in the corridor so she might catch a glance of Dad when he goes to the Theater ( as visits are only allowed from 1pm and they are very strict on that ).

I felt so sorry I couldn't be there and wait with her. But in fact, when I called her on her cell phone at 9 this morning, she told me one nurse saw her waiting outside and invited her into my Dad's room so she can stay with him and she was actually with him right now. They were both really pleased and that uplifted my mood a bit as if I had been there, the nurses definitely wouldn't have done that, so a small positive thing to hang on to.

There wasn't a precise schedule for the op or if there was they didn't tell my Dad so now I am just waiting for my Mum to call : The awful part.

I know I won't publish this post until I have news, but somehow it does me so good to write.

Last night my good friend called to chat a bit and she told me it would be nice to relax a bit and may be get a little treat. I had her laughing to tears when I explained I had that covered. A lot of people will eat chocolate or biscuits, well last night I decided to cook a full pan of Brussels Sprouts. I love that stuff with ham and cheese. So that's what I ate. It was delicious and it did cheer me up.

I said earlier that I put my big birthday camera for sale, well I sold it to a lovely lady on UKS and spending only a third of the money I bought the model above my current compact one, with a much better zoom. It arrived yesterday and it was a nice little treat too. It also has a kind of wide angle so these are 2 pictures with the 2 cameras from the same spot as usual.

Yesterday with my old camera

Today with  my new camera

So I will have to get used to it a bit more, but I am really pleased with it.

I had a walk with the girls but it was extremely cold ( it's 16 degres inside the house right now ) and I had difficulties to concentrate.

For those who do LSED, it will be old news, but Shimelle pointed us to a video this morning ( that has nothing to do with Crafts). You can search for Nic Marks: happy planet index on YouTube or click here . I watched it this morning and found it extremely inspiring and settling, a kind of " back to the source " thing.

I've been working in order to keep myself distracted but there is a watch on the computer and I started wondering how much longer it would take when I just got a call from Mum. It almost 12:30 and they still didn't come to get Dad. Thanks God she called as I was really wondering what is happening. Depending what time they take him, I now could only have news later afternoon, as I read the procedure takes between 2 and 5 hours.

I talked to Dad again, he is OK but I definitely know for sure from which parent my extreme lack of patience comes from !

We now agreed that Mum will call me when they take him, so I know a bit better what to expect.

13:20: My mum called to say that the department doctor just told them that the procedure had been cancelled. My Dad will be released from hospital this afternoon and sent back home with some meds.

I think I am going to lose my mind soon.

Mum is trying to see how to put her hands on the Doctor who was supposed to do the procedure in order to talk to him and call me back. After that, I will try to call on my side to get some explanations too. What on earth is going on ??????

14:30: After trying to locate the cardiologist for ages, we finally heard he was operating and would pass by later. Mum and I decided that Dad stays in hospital until we know what's going on.

16:00: The cardiologist just visited my Dad. There is no real explanation of why the procedure was cancelled on such short notice ( I couldn't talk to him so I only heard from my mum ), but he said it would be worthwhile to try some new meds, just in case the operation could be avoided.

That makes perfect sense to me, what doesn't is why didn't this genious idea come to his head yesterday ? Why did they "prepare" my dad for the op at 7 this morning and let him wait for almost 7 hours ????  AARRGGHH !!!!!

His plan is to give Dad some new meds to try under hospital control until Monday. If they work, Dad will come home. If not, we go back down the road to the pacemaker.

Dennis described this as a roller coaster situation, yeah, kind of. I am sick on roller coasters anyway.

So somehow it's even good I couldn't fly down because I wouldn't be helpful now. I obviously can't spend several weeks down there so may be we can plan it that I am there when I am really needed as there is still the pacemaker road that's possible.

I don't need to tell you I am mentally exhausted and I surely will catch an early night. I am sure my parents will too. Dad is OK, he just doesn't exactly understand what's going on, but none of us does.

Thank you so much for all the kind messages I received, I didn't answer everybody yet, but I promise I will.




Project 365+1 - Day 264 : Backlit

That's probably the most awful picture I took in all my life, but I didn't want to fall back as I want to keep on track with this daily project, so here is my picture : My trimmer by the window.

LSNED will have to wait.

Take care everybody, xxx