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Before I forget, there is a new post for Lucky Snapping 2013, our home for next year. You can find it HERE

We were back home in UK at 1am last night, hopefully winning 1 hour sleep due to time difference, but the alarm was still pretty hard to hear this morning. We went to pick up the girls and they were so happy to see us. I brought them to the park while Dennis was catching up with work. They came back soaked in mud, I almost had forgotten the pleasure of cleaning them , lol.

When it was a bit later, I called my parents to say all was fine, as obviously they were already in bed when we reached home.

Our trip was exhausting both physically and mentally. There is a joke in France, when somebody tells you he is tired , you answer " Yes, tired of doing nothing ". Well I can confirm doing nothing is extremely tiring. Spending 10 hours a day at my dad's hospital bed, standing a bit, sitting a bit and worrying at the same time was really hard. After they didn't find anything special in the Coronagraphy, the cardiologist decided to release him on Thursday instead of Saturday, so my Dad was really pleased, but he has many new sides of his personality that I didn't know.
My dad is always patient, he isn't anymore. He gets upset, he asks the same questions many times in a row, he forgets why he is at the hospital, he forgets so many things, he panics a bit when he is alone.

I know, he is just getting old and certainly many of you went or are going through this. It's just that for my Dad it came pretty suddenly. I had a " perfect " 88 years old Dad and now I have a much older 89 years old Dad. I was just not prepared to such a quick change and I feel cheated as if somebody would have taken parts of him away.
I guess I just will have to get used to it.

As of his anxiety, I pushed mum and we took an appointment for Dad to speak to a psychologist as the cardiologist had proposed. Pity it's Xmas, as the next available appointment is only beginning of January, but at least he got one.  He seems to suffer from a bit of depression too , like he would have given up on life.  I hope talking will help him.

So for this time, he is OK. When we were driving down from Gatwick last night I told Dennis I feel I have the sword of Damocles above my head.

If you never heard the story: Damocles was a subject of the tyrant Dionysius II in Syracuse. Damocles told him that as a great man of power and authority surrounded by luxury, Dionysius was extremely fortunate. Dionysius then offered to switch places with Damocles, so that he could taste that very fortune. Damocles accepted the king's proposal. Damocles sat down in the king's throne surrounded by every luxury, but Dionysius arranged that a huge sword should hang above the throne, held at the pommel only by a single hair of a horse's tail. Damocles eventually begged the tyrant to be allowed to depart, because he no longer wanted to be so fortunate.  

This Greek story illustrates that there can be no happiness for the person over whom some fear always looms.

All that to say that each time I come back to France, I have a tendency to think I escaped that one, but what when another one will come? And it surely will, so I better try and find a way of calming down and enjoying the respite in between the storms.

I need to run and fill the fridge now as the kids come for the week-end for our Xmas together and then I need to have the stitches removed for Rhea this afternoon.

Lynne, thank you for your card, x



Project 365+1 - Day 356 : Something red

I heard the weather was terrible when we were away and there are certainly signs of it in the park but today is a gorgeous day, sunny and almost warm.

I took this in the park this morning, by the river.

Take care everybody, xxx